


Snapping

by Viridian5



Category: due South
Genre: Drama, Episode Related, M/M, heat wave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-07-01
Updated: 2000-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:58:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The weather can do odd things to your self-control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snapping

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "Victoria's Secret."
> 
> Humidity does terrible things to Devil Dogs. It's really not fair.
> 
> Thanks to Kasha for telling me I needed more rain reminders. Thanks to Latonya for catching that typo.

"It's rude, Fraser."

"It's the very essence of politeness to make eye contact as you speak with people."

"Eye contact, yes. Staring the person down like your eyes are heat-seeking missiles, no."

"It's merely direct contact."

"I know it's different in Moose Jaw, population five, but in most big American cities avoiding eye contact is the only privacy you got from all the strangers in your face. Besides, if you're staring into someone's eyes that intensely, here it means ya wanna start something, and a lot of the folks who wanna start something are nuts. Plus, some folks here are packing guns or straight-edges. So lay off the deli guy, would ya? You make him nervous." Ray started to move to put his hand on Ben's arm, then apparently decided it was too hot to do so. "I understand what ya meant. Every time I've been down South I end up squirming under the locked-on-target way southerners look at people when they're talking and being polite. It's just a thing about different customs."

"I do understand. I simply have to remind myself to override my habitual system of eye contact."

"The guy will be grateful, believe me." As thunder rumbled in the distance, Ray looked at the thick, gray sky and muttered, "Rain already, will ya?"

A week of overcast, hot, and humid days had frayed everyone's tempers. All of Chicago had an air of strained tension to it, as if its citizens waited for something as they struggled to free themselves of the tight, binding mugginess. If not for the listlessness also brought on by the thick heat, the city would be in far worse turmoil than it already was. Ben could see how much valiant effort Ray made to keep a clench-fingered grip on his own temper and had adapted his behavior to cause less strain

Thus, he'd left his tunic in the squad room and gone out with Ray for their lunch break in his Henley. No matter how far it went from proper comportment, his memory of Ray complaining how hot seeing that serge made him feel even as his eyes seemed to be imagining tearing it off his partner.... Well, Ben learned, and where was the harm if it kept the peace? That it made him feel cooler as well was a pleasant side effect. It could be excused when done to help others.

Still, Ben suffered from the heat no matter how many mental exercises he ran through, no matter how many previous Chicago summers he'd survived. As seeing Ben in his serge had made Ray feel hotter, seeing how the weather had sapped Ray's usually boundless energy had a reciprocal effect. Even Ray's hair looked wilted, since his styling products only melted on his hair in the heat. He'd admitted defeat on the issue three days ago. His hair was long enough on top that it showed waves that verged on curling from the humidity. Of late, Ray occasionally muttered something about shaving it all off to keep cool.

An overheated Ray seemed to be even more of a distraction to Ben. He didn't understand it. Perhaps it was the way it made Ray more languid, or the way the temperature made Ben more aware of his own skin and Ray's. Or perhaps the heat simply made Ben lascivious, forcing him to think of more pleasurable ways of generating sweat. In any case, the last week had felt like steadily increasing torture.

Diefenbaker, the traitor, refused to leave the air-conditioned consulate.

A sudden shock of cold against his temple jolted Ben out of his thoughts. Ray had applied his glass bottle of iced tea directly to his skin. It felt so good....

"Thought you could use it," Ray said, his pale eyes fixed on Ben's face with an affection that always left the Mountie stunned, affection that must not be acted upon. Ben stared back, watching the way sweat gave Ray's skin a sheen and beaded at the edge of his scalp.

Ben had his own cold drink he could use similarly, but it certainly wouldn't feel the same. "Thank you." Then he realized that they were staring at one another while standing still on a sidewalk blocking foot traffic. As he moved the bottle away from his face with a smile, his fingers brushed Ray's cooler ones. Ray grinned back, then they started to walk again.

Without Ray as a distraction, the sky seemed thicker, hotter, and heavier again. As Chicago's moist heat wrapped back around him, Ben dreamed of snow, of being buried in pure, clean coolness up to his neck. He would get Ray a snowbank too. He could just see his partner laughing and making snow angels--

"...to Fraser. Earth to Fraser. Fraser!"

"Ray?"

"I almost didn't want to bring ya back you looked so happy, but we have to go inside now." Not that Ray looked happy about going in.

"Right you are."

With the air conditioning broken, it was hotter inside the squad room than outside. A few ancient fans only moved the heat around. Most of the detectives appeared to be melted into their seats.

"Oh, hey, here comes Welsh past Frannie's desk. This oughta be good," Ray said as they walked past.

Welsh halted at her desk and glared down at her. "Francesca, that is not appropriate attire."

"Get us air conditioning, and I'll put on more clothing. I'm melting here!" she protested, glaring back.

"Go home and change."

"If I go home, I'm not coming back."

"Perhaps we should intervene, Ray," Ben said.

"Nah, they'll work it out. It'll only get messy if we mix in, especially since they won't want us to. C'mon."

"I suppose you're right." In truth, Francesca and the leftenant constantly battled on such things and seemed to enjoy it.

"'Course I am."

As soon as Ray sat at his desk, he had the contents of his paper bag spread out on its surface. After taking a gulp of his iced tea, he immediately picked up his packet of Devil Dogs.

It distracted Ben from his own lunch. "You're going to eat your dessert first?"

"So? _You_ drink milk straight out of the carton, so I don't wanna hear about it. Yeah, I'm doing the dessert first. That way, if I don't have room for the sandwich and dessert, at least I ate the best part of the meal."

"I don't do that all the time."

"Good thing, because then no one would wanna deal with ya. It's disgusting."

"Your appetite seems to be suffering of late."

"It's the heat. I'm fine." But once he tore the wrapper open, Ray looked confused as he regarded his dessert. The two pieces of devil's food cake that made up the Devil Dog sandwich appeared oddly... taller to Ben's eyes, but it probably meant nothing.

"Ray?"

Ray shook his head. "They look weird. Too big, kinda. I'm sure they're fine." Then he bit into one and made a face. "Damn it, this is the last straw. This stinking weather better end soon."

"I don't understand."

"The cake part sucked up the humidity, so now they're swollen to three times their normal size but taste like vaguely chocolate flavored sponges with creme in 'em. This sucks!" Ray took another disgusted bite.

"Yet you're eating it."

"I'm not getting gypped out of my dessert." Ray put it up to his lips again.

Detective Dewey stopped, stared at Ray, pointed, and started to open his mouth. His partner instantly put his hand over it and dragged him away. "You don't want to say that, Tom. Trust me," Detective Huey said.

"What was that-- Son of a bitch," Ray muttered.

"You think he was going to make a comment based on the phallic appearance of the dessert in your mouth?"

"I know he was going to. Guess I gotta beat him up."

"Ray! One, he didn't actually say it. Two, you shouldn't be pummeling your fellow officers anyway."

"He wanted to. That's intent. If Jack hadn't stopped him, he would have."

"But he didn't. It wouldn't be fair if you attacked him for something he didn't do."

"Hunh. Guess you're right." Ray looked at Dewey, smiled, and started to _tongue_ the creme out from between the devil's food pieces. Detective Dewey's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

He wasn't alone. "You better not be doing what I think you're doing," Ben said, as his heart skipped. Once again he had to remind himself not to touch, not like this. He broke things when he touched them in this state of mind....

"I'm just eating my dessert."

"You're trying to incite Detective Dewey into saying something you can kick him in the head for."

"Nope."

"Ray...."

"'Incite' is such a strong word."

"Yet wholly appropriate here," Ben said, sounding as stern as he could. Ray smiled, but Ben refused to let that deter him.

Reprieve arrived in the form of Ray's cellphone. "Vecchio. You're kidding me. I'm coming." Ray stood and started to put his lunch back in the bag. "We're taking it on the road. Tuller showed up."

Despite Ray's obvious unhappiness with it, Ben put his serge back on. It would be inappropriate to go out on official police business with him in anything less than the proper uniform.

Besides, heavy and uncomfortable as it could be, it gave him some protection against the increased lust he seemed to be suffering from. Comfort of a sorts could be found in reminders of propriety and duty.

He hoped the weather broke soon.

  


* * *

"Over at last," Ray said as they left the squad room that evening, Ray's workday finished at last. The Tuller arrest had been far more complicated than it should have been, rendering their afternoon an exercise in paperwork and creative ways to slice through red tape. Ben had watched Ray hold onto his patience by his fingernails. "Soon as I get home, I'm gonna run the shower as cold as I can. Wash the day off. Damn, I feel filthy."

Ben foresaw a cold shower for himself as well, if for slightly different reasons. "You look fine."

"Yeah? I figure I look like I'd melted inside my clothes." Another burst of thunder made Ray look up at the charcoal colored sky. "And _you're_ all talk," he told it.

Ben felt something pelt his scalp and saw Ray flinch at the same time. Suddenly, water poured down from the sky, hitting with such velocity that the raindrops sounded like rifles going off as they struck concrete and asphalt. They hurt a bit as they hit Ben's skin in cool bursts.

At first Ray looked angry, then he started to laugh. He tilted his head back and let out a whoop. "Thank you!" he shouted to the sky. "Looks like the shower's unnecessary. Lemme hand you the keys so you can get out of this."

Ben felt the week's taut tension finally snap, freeing them and perhaps the rest of the city as well. "What will you be doing?"

"Waiting for some puddles to form so I can splash around a bit. Can't drive nowhere with visibility down to almost nothing like this anyway."

"Ray, you'll be soaked through."

Ray stood close enough that Ben saw him quirk an eyebrow, then open his arms straight out in a "look at me" gesture. His sopping T-shirt had turned nearly transparent, outlining his nipples. His hard nipples. Ben swallowed.

"C'mon, live a little," Ray said. "Didn't you splash through puddles as a kid?"

"No."

"You were deprived then!"

Ben closed his eyes, letting the cold seep into his body. The water striking his skin felt invigorating in its violence, like a hard massage. It insinuated its way under his collar and brought his nerves back to life. It made him feel half wild.

"That's more like it. Live a little," Ray said.

"Perhaps you're right." Ben opened his eyes to look at Ray, who stood so close that they almost breathed the same air. Ray grinned madly, obviously exulting in the storm's racket and fury, laughing every time lightning split the sky overhead. Suddenly, Ben had to _feel_ that smile, hear the vibration of his partner's joy....

He only had to move one step forward to kiss Ray. He'd barely thought of what he was doing; simply moved and found his lips pressed to his partner's. Ray gasped but met him, kiss for kiss, and grabbed hold of his serge. Even through the chill water streaming down Ray's skin, Ben could feel the heat just beneath.

This time the serge provided no protection, not from his emotions or from the feel of his partner's body in his arms.

No protection... and the water running over them changed from exhilarating to cold and clammy. No freedom here, simply a flimsy excuse.

Sense returned, bringing panic with it. Ben broke the kiss and tried to pull away, but Ray's grip tightened. "Don't go, Ben," Ray said. "Please, don't go."

Ben found himself as caught by that "please" and the use of his first name as by Ray's iron grip. "I--"

"There's nothing wrong here, nothing to get worried about." Ray used a tone of voice Ben might have while trying to calm a frightened animal. "I'm happy you did this. I've wanted you for the longest time, and I got the feeling you liked me that way too, but you were so skittish I didn't make a move. You're not gonna take that kiss back, are ya?"

Ben knew he should explain and make Ray see why this was so wrong, but words failed him. "I can't, but I should."

"Explain that. Explain how I can want you, and you can want me, and we can both know it, and still have it be bad."

"I--"

Ray shook his head, creating a spray of rain. "Tell me."

Ray _had_ to be made to understand. Ben said, "Every time I acted on something I felt this deeply, it turned into a disaster."

Ray stayed silent and didn't say Victoria's name, but Ben felt him thinking it. And Ray didn't even know the extent to which she'd tried to destroy Ben's life and very self, since Ray Vecchio had kept much of it out of the official reports.

"And Ray Vecchio," Ben said. He shivered at the way the cold rain seemed to be gathering in his uniform, encasing him.

"You loved him? That way?" Ray sounded a bit surprised.

"Yes, and I made the mistake of telling him when I thought a saw a reciprocated emotion in his eyes. He said he didn't love me the same way no matter what his eyes seemed to be telling me. Perhaps I misjudged; perhaps he couldn't admit to feeling such things for another man. In any case, he drifted further and further away from me until I lost him entirely. Because I told him."

"I'm not Ray Vecchio. I just play him on TV. I'm not drifting anywhere. And I'm sure as hell not Victoria. So don't bring them in here with us. I'm just me, and if ya have a problem with me, then we'll work with that. But don't throw me away because of these other people."

Horrified by how badly Ray had misinterpreted his words, Ben protested, "I would never throw you away."

"Okay then."

This was all moving far too quickly again, but it was also far too late to change course now. Now that Ray knew how he felt, refusing to follow through with an involvement would cause only confusion and hurt. He would lose Ray that way as well. In any case, now that Ben knew how it felt to have Ray in his arms and hear his love spoken back to him, he didn't think he could give it up for anything.

But he needed some feeling of control. "Date me, Ray?" As soon as the words came out, he was struck by the fear that Ray would find it funny beyond words. Contemptible.

"Hunh?" Ray grinned, but no mockery seemed to be in it. But then, he didn't seem to mind standing out in the rain having a heart to heart discussion they could have more comfortably in his car. He combed his dripping hair out of his face. "Like going steady? We've already done dinner and movies and everything."

"But as friends."

"So we do the romantic thing instead? Dinner, candlelight--"

"No candlelight." Ben reined his emotions back and said, "Please."

Ray still looked a little confused at Ben's unexpected vehemence, but followed his lead. "Okay. They're a fire hazard anyway. Hey, we could get one of those emergency glow sticks and put it on the table. Y'know, the ones where you shake 'em up, snap 'em, and they glow yellow-green for hours...." Trust Ray to infuse the proceedings with a welcome spirit of playfulness.

"If you feel it's necessary. It hardly has to be ritualized...." Words were failing him again.

But Ray seemed to understand anyway and smiled. "Yeah, I'll date you. It'll be cool. Have to tell ya, though, I'm not easy. I expect wining and dining first if we're gonna do this right."

"Of course, Ray."

Ray _was_ Ray, utterly unlike anyone else Ben had ever known, and he didn't give up. On anything. Perhaps, with the two of them refusing to give up, they could make it work.

It was certainly worth a try.

 

### End


End file.
